My Writings


My mind has gone far, ever restless, in its search of new ways to obscure my vision. In time I have developed an understanding that the causes of my suffering are trivial, unworthy of attention. At times, with great effort and determination, I am able to seemingly break through the barricades of my own mind and see beyond.

I used to want much, but now I only long for closure. In my vision I see you, Love. I see the long road to You, the distorted beginning of which currently consumes me. Far in the distance I see the world that is so familiar to me giving way to something infinitely beautiful. Through the veil I can see that my vision is clouded by primitive understanding.

I know that, when I finally go down the path that leads to you, it will not happen as I imagine it. Instead, it will be infinitely more beautiful. I know that you will hold my hand and take me beyond what I thought possible.

But for now, I see myself going down a quiet path, drowned in light, alone, as the known gives way to a sense of completion yet unfelt, a well-deserved closure to the story of a strange character. You have shown me that it is possible, you have taken me to this place before – in my dreams, so that I may find my way back home.

At the very end I see a “gate”, a point of no return. A “place” so strongly radiating with energy, from which love seems to spring, bursting and spilling over upon itself, that for a moment one is blinded.

And then I see you – in all of your glory, far more beautiful than what I have imagined – living, moving and shifting before my eyes, as the understanding that I have only seen a lifeless image in my dreams begins to settle… You are what I have been looking for.

You are the thread that pulled me through life, as I blindly stumbled around Your world, seeking Your Presence.

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