I asked You, Lord, please take me at my Greatest Triumph, and not a moment earlier, not a moment later. In the past, I asked for that, because I was scared of seeing myself in decline. How do I live, except at the mighty summit of life, is there anything else?
Then, having rejected that low need, I asked, let me know what You value as the Greatest Triumph. Do you want me to be the keenest mind, do you want me to be the greatest lover, do you want me to be a warrior, or a simple, humble man… what do I do for You, how do I please You?
You made us all. Each and every one of us – You made – why? Why did You make me, why at all, why not someone else, and why any of us? Now, state clearly what You want and let me go my way. You know that, as You know all.
At times I enjoy dancing to Your tune. We all dance to Your music, but only some of us grow ecstatic, knowing it. I am one of them, but not always. It sickens me when You use me to hurt. Then I ask, why did I walk into their life, could it have been different?
Perhaps, if I acted differently, if only there had not been that Hurt or the other, or the Lack, or the Excess, or the Weakness, the Disease, the Fear, and all the rest… No, all was exactly as You wished it. Historical fact, if you did not want me to stumble and fall, You would not have placed the rock there. You would have given me greater Vigilance. But all is locked in space-time, every life – following its own rules. None can be repeated, none can be replaced by someone else, and none can be avoided.
That is Your play. But You gave a way out. I said, I am done playing these games, I am leaving. But how do I Ieave? How can anyone? Unless You desire it. Nothing is impossible to You.
I will do all that I must do, I will see it all through.
Then, one day, You will grant my wish.