My Writings

The Crown

Unfamiliar power overwhelms me. A crown has been placed on my head. Now, my body and spirit are mine no longer, but they belong to the world. My hands carry out His work, my eyes survey His world for trouble, ready to descend and kill. My heart has housed his songs, and I don’t have a tongue of my own.

The King within has arisen, unshakable, immovable, stern. Through him I have realized the transient nature of my life, given to me to safeguard and to hand down to one yet unborn. And so I craved to live it to the fullest, to taste it before it is gone, but I needed to sacrifice, to cut a bloody path through my veins so that I can feed the world with my blood.

Drink, I said, the ruby-red fountain of my power. Sting like hornets if you wish, you cannot tear down the wall of my grinding teeth – the wall of Resilience that stretches around my inner world.

Then the wall fell and I rebuilt it. Then it fell again and I rebuilt it. My inner world grew, but my teeth were ground to dust. In a dream, I was toothless, only some terrible mauler remained bitterly clenching my jaw. Unable to eat, unable to sleep, I suffered, but death was denied to me.

I lost my crown.

Now a beggar, I forgot that I once ruled over myself. But the Gift, fully realized once it had been lost, could now be restored. Do you understand now why your power was dampened? Do you understand now, animated corpse, that kinghood is bestowed only by the Creator? Without His Blessing, the glow of Man fades.

Now, yet again, a familiar power overwhelms me. I fear it. I neither greet nor reject it. It flows through me to make its way to others.

Not a Savior, only a servant.

12.09.2020

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