My Writings

Mother – Part III

Deep night, sweet Mother, I am your son. Veiled in darkness, the whole world and all souls within it are asleep. Only I wander. Now and then the winds of the void raise their voices, quickly dying out, without a trace – only the Silence is left. I have come to seek the shores that Your waves wash eternally.

It was here where I first took shape. It was here where I first walked upright, in my life, head held high. It was here where I first opened my eyes. It was here where I first learned that I am an immortal being – perfect and divine, drowned in the sorrows of the lower world. Birth after birth, one beating heart after another, aimlessly wandering throughout the world of illusion.

Only now and then, lifetimes apart, watching from within a different skull, I must have seen glimpses of Your inner sanctum. Glimpses still – particles of dust, carried by sunlight, in the lonely, empty room of my existence. But the truth, flashing before my eyes, You have made comprehensible, stretching its flickering moments into eternity. Now, I gaze deeply into its depths, and the abyss indeed stares back at me.

How sweet its alluring stare. How true the words it speaks, springing and dancing far up into the sky, like the waters of a magnificent fountain. And then, inexplicably, all movement stops as if reality were held in place by someone’s mighty arms, suffocating it. I stop with it, overwhelmed by infinity and eternity – my twin sisters.

Then, drawn by the soft speech of Your lake, its waves gently washing my shores, singing poetry, I come. Somewhere ahead, I hear You move in the water, rising from its depths without disturbing the surface. Rivers flow down your tar-black hair, indistinguishable from the Night, and yet trembling with the power of a thousand suns – a force untarnished, revealed only to Your chosen ones.

I hear Your voice. Countless lifetimes I must have suffered, only to become worthy of the One Moment, but forever unable to reach perfection. Still, it must be true. Your words reach my ears and an unspeakable ecstasy overwhelms me. You turn around and I even catch a glimpse of Your face. Then, undeservedly, You reach out, embracing me. Great worlds of Bliss, skies without limit, endless oceans, infinite possibilities. In an instant, only for an instant, all are mine.

Then, all truths collide into One. You are the Mother of us all, Mother of the Universe. But You are also my Mother. Infinitely young and beautiful, you caress my face now, but tomorrow you will hold my skull.

I play outside with the other souls, in the long, seemingly endless day of Your creation.

But the night draws near, so you come to call me back in.

You will soon take my head.

Go ahead.

I will no longer need it.

25.09.2020

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