Seeking you, Hidden One, limbs trembling, going out on a limb. Knees broken, yet jumping to conclusions. Sacrificial lamb, Lamb of God. I insulted You. Goathead, now I only sing your praises. My poison was dipped in steel, yet you caught me off-guard. Disarmed.
Gates of perception bursting open, a path washed clean by blood and tears, my blood, my tears, and yet I somehow managed to besmirch it. Shoes ground to dust, walking right into a grave. Again and again, the ground did not hold me. Swords and horses proved useless. So did the holy oils.
The afterlife was life as I knew it, as painful as today, and yet, different. A tongue sheltering all flavors, ears harboring all songs. Trauma to the head through blunt realization, what else is there to do, where to go, what cause to give myself to?
No more. Instead – child’s play. Homo ludens, worthy of the name. Learned to walk upright. Learned to reason. Now teach me to learn.