My Writings

Elation

Once you have come so far, why stop there? Boundaries are arbitrary, even one’s own strength is negotiable. At times, even death can be reasoned with.

Inside, I discovered a source of fortitude – sacred, untouched. If you ask me now how I survived, I cannot tell you, I can only laugh. It is a miracle, how far one can go before his legs betray him. Even then, one can discover some hidden power, some well of strength. Striking gold in one’s heart is pure Elation.

So I said, give me time so I can learn how to Learn. How to be better, how to make it all happen. I followed Your movements closely, your actions raising voices into a clear, vibrant song. A moment of certainty! I know what needs to be done. I know the way.

When I stepped into Your boat, it felt familiar. Its bottom must be rotten – when You last appeared, I remember falling through, having to swim back to the shore in freezing winter, as you watched me. I fear the same weakness in Your new plan.

But what if I’m wrong? What if it’s all a perception, an illusion? Perhaps Your boat is worthy of a Viking funeral. Will you push me into the horizon, burning alongside my ship – in death, just as I did in life, and will you celebrate?

A beautiful vision. But I know that you ask something else of me now. I have learned to calm the waters. I have the strength to keep the waves asleep. I have found a way to catch your wind, even the smallest gust, even where I least expect it.

I know now how to keep my eyes on the horizon in the single, vital point of origin. That is my goal. To reach it, I shattered and built myself anew. I put the reins on my power, previously wild and untamed, and channelled its strength into a corridor of action – determined to go through, emerging victorious on the other side.

The boundaries I set for myself, time after time, must be torn down with each step towards the chosen Ideal.

And if my ship sinks, I can swim.

17.09.2020

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