A toothless wolf, how can you punch my teeth in, a faceless mask, how can you deface me? Mental fortitude stands between me and you like a meter of steel. In the depth of misery, at the height of anguish, I sought answers feverishly. I could not wander too long in the mists of self-pity. As blind as I am, that I must have understood – perhaps instinctively, at the foot of the waterfall of clarity.
Lessons learned, drank my way to the bottom of a cup to seek its bitter wisdom. I drank, all of it, heavliy, painfully. The stupid, the obvious, questions avoided and answers rejected. Somewhere in all of that – grains of truth – lifted with unspeakable force by my mind and colliding to burst into light.
Found my hair to be greyer, my skin – dryer, my fingers – leaner. I grip with unfamiliar strength, I hold tightly, and then I stop myself, not to break the delicacy of the moment. In that blessed state I am able to see farther, hold the gaze longer – like a beautiful memory, only, it is a dream of the future.
The Future. Calling out towards destiny, to find that I have been whispering, still whispering, no, louder! Call! My lord lives on the tip of a needle, on the edge of a blade. Hair-thin, the path circles upward, at its far end – mukti. I am not a saint, I busy myself with ordinary things, and hurt like a mortal man.
But even I can see the obvious.